A decent post!? blasphemy.

Actually no, I’m gonna make this quick because I gotta pee and get ready for work. Actually… hold on, gonna pee first- Bah, fuck I’ll just type this in the bathroom.

Updates on my life:

Going back for Muay Thai next week. I’m nervous and my muscles are already aching just thinking about it. It’s like being recalled for reservice/the army… The thought makes me restless.

Losing track of time, is it really thursday, or am I imagining things and it’s actually wednesday!? To live life when dates and time don’t matter… not quite a luxury, more of a paranoiac confusion.

I wonder if wordpress is the only place I can express myself without having people I personally know find out my INNER MOST DARKEST SECRETS *cue dramatic music*. Hahaha, no…. I need a place to rant. I think I’m starting to mess up my feelings and misunderstanding one for another. Like when you can’t tell lust from like/love, or hate from avoidance. When you feel like your heart and everything inside it is being split into multiple parts, given away like free cupcakes.

My heart is like a bad sample cupcake. Given to someone who has taken a piece of it, return it, then have me pass it on to someone else who does the same thing. I think, in this world there are only a few people who have a piece of my heart… wish they’d give it back. Yeah.. I’d really like it if someone would actually keep the whole cupcake to themselves rather than have it passed on. Losing yourself to one person is easier than losing yourself to a thousand people, it’s easier to know who that one person is if I’d like to retrieve my cupcake- I mean heart, rather than try to recall and keep track of the thousand other people.

I feel like I’ve been a game lately, a one-sided game. It has only one rule: First to fall in love loses.

Hello everybody.

…I BOUGHT THE G7! It’s like the G9 just not as expensive LOL..
WOOO, GOAL COMPLETE! I FEEL LIKE A SIM.

Woah, brain meltdown.

Did lots of researching today! Mainly on how to build a PC, and software purchasing. I don’t really have a reason to have a PC, well not serious reason at least. I just wanted to use some softwares like Vocaloid so a Windows PC was definitely necessary. I’ve just increased my to-buy-list!

1: Zoom G9.2tt multi-effects, I really should just get this over and done with.
2: Hercules hangers/Gridwall; I’m waiting for the music store to get back on me with this
3: Furniture; I CAN’T WAIT TO RENOVATE MY ROOM MY WAY
4: Computer parts… This is the expensive one .__. But hey, it’s total win if I can build myself a 4GB ram, 1TB storage, and 1GB graphic card below USD$800. It’s probably sufficient too, for half the price branded pre-assembled computers are sold for.
5: Zoom mixer R24… LOOKS SO FUCKING AWESOME. I just want it. XD
6: Vocaloid series 03… Megurine Luka… Coz I can’t sing for shit. LOL…

I’m planning to build a mini studio work station in my room, enough hardwares to work double as a heater during cold nights … Ahhh… As usual, I don’t earn enough… Gotta save, I guess. My main concern right now is the room… I just hope it turns out right. I honestly hate my mom’s ideas when it comes to designing rooms… And I REALLY hate tables and beams made from wood painted in white ._. It looks so cheap and unsightly…

Geh… Anyhow,
Listen to Marie Digby’s japanese cover album “Second Home”. It’s cover of popular Japanese pop/rock songs, but with a totally different style… It’s actually quite refreshing to listen to. And she sounds a little like Yui, just with a more mature voice. Well, imagine Yui with a lower voice, haha.

… this had a title, but my cow ate it.

I could, like, copy and paste my overly dramatic post from my tumblr blog into WP, but that’ll be twice the overly dramatic post and need to seek attention/sympathy. Don’t need that.

Last night I had an amusing dream. Dreamt of an old classmate(s).
Girl gave me some weird candy thingie and tried to “soften” it for me by chewing it. Weird shit happens and I ended up frenching her for the sweet coz its on her tongue and I’m like meh… LOL. And then everything became slooow motion. Ever had dreams where you just can’t move fast?! It’s annoying. It’s like running underwater. So… yeah, that’s the only significant scene in the dream I could recall. I probably flirted/messed with a handful of “ex-crushes” in my dreams, too… can’t remember their face, but I was sure that was how it was.

I TOTALLY HAVE A DREAM HAREM. I like my dreams more than whatever romance anime/drama this world has. Because I can watch it AND “experience” it. The depressing thing is that it isn’t ever real.

I think the only part of my dreams I find weird is how I never dreamt of the person I fell the hardest and longest for. 6 years, hardly any dreams of this person… Maybe that’s saying something. Like… you know.. “GET OVER IT!” lol.

Well I’ve said my piece and since I’m technically “sick”, I’m off to bed before the sunrises.

Never felt more tired.

Fatigue. Gas. Fatigue. More gas. More fatigue. I am extremely tired.

First off! You never really appreciate the sweet taste of plain water until you learn to miss it. After spending my night drinking some disgusting concoction of water and laxatives, the (supposedly) passion fruit tasting drink had made me develop a phobia towards it. Never again! I will never ever drink it again! I spent the whole night crapping my guts out until all I was doing was pissing through my ass ._. It was 8am before the pain subsided and I could catch up on what sleep I needed. I actually dragged myself out of the air-conditioned room into the comfortably warm but not too hot study room of my sister’s.

When I woke up I was due for a medical examination to get my insides scoped. A… Colonoscopy? Yeah… I got there, changed and took out my handful of earrings..etc..etc. Waited almost an hour before the examination started. The clinic assistant helped insert a tube into my veins which didn’t really hurt that must. I guess my physical pain tolerance is pretty high Or I secretly like needles! :O Anyway, the assistants were cute Yes, I would’ve like to hold one of their hands while I got my flesh punctured with a needle (they offered), but nah… Would’ve been awkward.

During the examination, the doctor sedated me and I passed out in 5…4…3…2…Zzzz, I didn’t even know! I slept well though, but the awakening was kinda woah… weird compared to normally waking up from a nap. It’s been almost an hour and I’m still woozy.

Most of my organs are fine, but they found this lumpy thing in my colon. We don’t know if its cancerous or not, but it’s been sent to be tested so my results come out in another 2 weeks. Hopefully everything is curable. The price is unbelievable though! $2,000! But 3/4 of it is paid via insurance or something.

Funny how everyone’s like “Oohh, I’m surprised! Because you seem so young to be having all these problems.” I guess I’m a little surprised too, but my problems seem to be caused by nonexistent stress… I’m trying to figure out what my subconscious is stressed up about. I’m probably too desperate to own the G9, hahaha.

*sigh*

Game of fate.

What is a game of fate?

It could just be a guessing game.
If we were smarter, it’ll be a mathematics problem; Probability
If we were believers, it’ll be a prediction.
All the same.

Fate is… a paradox?
I think fate is the only black or white event that exists. It either happens or not, there’s hardly any grey areas. I wouldn’t consider “what ifs” as grey, because that’s just the process to decided the outcome simply on your own basis.

Fate is like a dog chasing his tail.

Last Page – Jessie Chiang

Ending theme to Panda men, lol. It’s not bad.

As usual, lyrics below, with my trashy translations
What? I’m not poetically inclined, y’know!

Love my Life – Noodle

I like this song I can’t for my life remember the movie though. But it was, to say the least ,nice.

Original lyrics below… un-romanized, my bad~ Comes with my first translation attempt though (because the lyrics were easy XD)… Literal translations are full of lulz.. but not like I care.

Look what came in the mail :O

Took this from the site because I’m too lazy to take my own photos ~_~ ITS AWESOME ANYHOW! .. Came with a SPR catalogue.. kinda lame but cool… it has… hmm… GIRLY BOYS!

Oppai Mouse Pad

Honestly, apart from my own, this is probably the closest I could ever get to any set of breasts in the world ;____; *sad* Interestingly enough, I remembered watching a video of the IOSYS gang in Taiwan where they got Omiyage and it was boobpads of Izayoi Sakuya! Awesome. The girls were playing and poking at the boobs while voice acting erotic sounds hahah… Fun… It’s nice to see Japanese girls being pervs.. LOL.